an eye doctor in a third world country

Pa-gilok sa tingkoy!

KONSEHAL: Paki acknowledge c Mayor. Late dumating, hayun kararaan lang!

PEDRO (Emcee): I WUD LYK TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE LATE MAYOR HU JUST PASSED AWAY..
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conductor: sibog² gamay kay molarga nata, kanang imong anak noy..sabaka nalang na.
Amahan: Nabuang na! nisakay gani mi kay nagdali, sa BAKA na hinoon nimo pasakyon.
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CORRECT PRONOUNCIATION
ANAK: Tay, paliti ko bi ug Jucyfruwet
TATAY: anak, dili magbinulok, dili man na jucyfruwet
ANAK: unsa man diay na tay??
TATAY: BAGOLBAM...
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usaka hubog nakakita ug madre sa dalan

iya kining gisumbag, gi tadjakan, gibalibag

bugbug sarado intawon ang madre

mikatawa ang hubog ug mi ingon:

" WA MAN DIAY KAY PULUS BATMAN!"
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Bungi niuli sa ila
ug gitabunan niya ang mata
sa iyang asawa..

BUNGI: Nges hu??

ASAWA: Pa - nges hu
nges hu pa ka dira
ikaw ray bungi dinhi sa atong
balay..
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PEDRO: puslan walay gamahal
maypa MAGPAKAMATAY!

ug c pedro ni dive sa SUBA

few minutes later.........

NITUNGHA ug nisulti: WAAAAAAHHHH!
dili ko kaginhawa.

MURA KO UG MAMATAY! Cheesy 2funny
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ANAK: Nay,,nag tambling tambling
gud me sa skul ganina..

NANAY: Di ba ingon man ko ayaw
pag tambling tambling kay makita imo panty?

ANAK: Gisulod man naku sa Bag ako Panty Nay.. Grin
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Laki: Kuhaon ko ang mga bitoon og ihatag ko kanimo.
Babae: saba diha! wa man gali ka kakuha anang kugmo gatambisay sa imong ilong...
Laki: AW! sorry day ha..wala man gud ko nasayod nga gusto sad ka ani..... buck2

------- Isa ka pirata gi interview sa reporter.
Reporter: Nganong imong pikas tiil kahoy man?
Pirata: Ah, naigo ni sa bala unya giputul giilisan na lang ug kahoy.
Reporter: Imong toong kamot naa may hook?
Pirata: Ah, naputol ni sa espada diha nga duna kuy kaaway.
Reporter: Unya imong pikas mata duna man nai itum nga tabon? (eye patch).
Pirata: Ah, naithan ni ug langgam unya nabuta.
Reporter: Ha? Makabuta diay nang iti sa langgam?
Pirata: Gilugud man gud nako sa akong toong kamut.

Broken thoughts from a near broken man. What does he really mean with his statements? Spot the what nots.

Asked why he decided to have the piano here, he answered: "I pictured, 'pag magkaroon ako ng bahay magpapadinner ako, gusto ko may piano. ‘Yun lang yon." (YES! July 2002 issue)

Philippine Movie's Greatest One Liners

The lines listed below were selected and debated by some of the country's respected directors, entertainment writers, and movie critics.

1. "You're nothing but a second-rate, trying hard copycat!"
- Cherie Gil, Bituing Walang Ningning (1985)

2. ""Para kang karinderyang bukas sa lahat ng gustong kumain."
- Vilma Santos, Palimos ng Pag-ibig (1985)

3. "Walang himala! Ang himala ay nasa puso ng tao! Nasa puso nating lahat!"
- Nora Aunor, Himala (1982)

4. "My brother is not a pig! My brother is not a pig! Ang kapatid ko ay tao, hindi baboy damo!"
- Nora Aunor, Minsa'y Isang Gamugamo (1976)

5. "Once, twice, thrice, gaano ba kadalas ang minsan?"
- Hilda Koronel, Gaano Kadalas ang Minsan (1982)

6. "Ayoko ng tinatapakan ako, ayoko ng masikip, ayoko ng mabaho, ayoko ng walang tubig, ayoko ng walang pagkain, ayoko ng putik""
- Maricel Soriano, Kaya Kong Abutin ang Langit (1984)

7. "Hayop... Hayuuup... Hayuuupppp!"
- Nora Aunor, Ina Ka Ng Anak Mo (1979)

8. "Trabaho lang ito, walang personalan."
- Rudy Fernandez, Markang Bungo (1991)

9. "Si Val! Si Val! Puro na lang si Val! Si Val na walang malay!"
- Vilma Santos, Saan Nagtatago ang Pag-ibig (1987)

10. "Ikaw pala. Ikaw pala ang sinasabi ng asawa ko na asawa mo na asawa ng bayan!"
- Laurice Guillen, Nagalit ang Buwan sa Haba ng Gabi (1983)

11. "Akala mo lang wala.. pero meron!! meron!! meron!!"
- Carlo Aquino, Bata, Bata...Paano Ka Ginawa (1998)

12. "Gutay-gutay na ang katawan nyo... pati na ang kaluluwa nyo!"
- Sharon Cuneta- Pasan Ko ang Daigdig (1987)

13. "Sabel! This must be love!"
- Carmi Martin, Working Girls (1986)

14. FPJ: "Ang problema sa'yo maaga kang ipinanganak"
Sharon: "Ang problema naman sa'yo huli kang ipinanganak"
- Sharon Cuneta and Fernando Poe Jr., Kahit Konting Pagtingin (1990)

15. "Wala akong pakialam..ibalik mo sa akin si Jun-jun. Ibalik mo sa akin ang anak ko! Ibalik mo sa akin si Jun-jun. Ibalik mo ang...ahhhhh!"
- Vilma Santos, Paano Ba Ang Mangarap (1983)

16. "Kung saan, kailan, at paanong labanan, magpasabi ka lang. Hindi kita uurungan!"
- Sharon Cuneta, Dapat Ka Bang Mahalin (1984)

17. Alice: "Mamamatay ako, Ate, pag kinuha mo sa akin si Alex!"
Lorna: "Ipalilibing kita."
Alice: "Ate, please!"
Lorna: "Nung inagaw mo sa 'kin si... muntik na rin akong mamatay. Puwes, ikaw naman ngayon ang mamatay"
- Lorna Tolentino and Alice Dixson, Nagbabagang Luha (1988)

18. "Simple lang naman ang hinihingi ko. Kung hindi mo ako marespeto bilang asawa, respetuhin mo naman ako bilang kaibigan. Kung hindi naman, respetuhin mo ako bilang tao."
- Vilma Santos, Relasyon (1982)

19. Rene: "cheetaehhh....ganda lalake!"
Echo: "ulol! Sinungaling! Panget! Panget!"
- Rene Requiestas, Cheetaeh

20. "Kung hindi tayo kikilos sino ang kikilos? Kung hindi ngayon, kailan pa?"
- Vilma Santos, Sister Stella L. (1984)

You Might Be an E.R. Volunteer if...

your immune system attacks a dog crossing your front garden.

you have delusions of being an emergency doctor.

the EMS guys think your name is the Coffee Mate.

you tell the doctors and nurses that you don't get paid anything to do this and they look at you like you'r some kind of a freak.

your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.

the EMS guys refer to you as "the pain in the ass that got in my way when I was bringing in a code!"

your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.

your favorite colors are green, white and red, even though you are not Italian.

your favorite thing is to take orders from medical students.

you have recurring nightmares about being knocked to the floor and run over by a portable X-ray machine.

You Might Be an E.R. Doctor if...

Pa-gilok sa tingkoy!

Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:

Oops!
Has anyone seen my watch?
That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.
Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your manual?
OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
Damn, there go the lights again...
Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?
What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!
What do you mean, he's not insured?
This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
I don't know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.
Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Bay Watch"
That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?
Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one, he's still moving.
Did the doctor know he would look like that afterwards?
Of course I've performed this operation before, Nurse!
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

Daddy Day

To celebrate Daddy's Day, we went to a privately owned beach in Sogod to spend the night last Saturday. The beach house was so serene and nicely furnished (javanese, designed by archt maxwell espina) that we wished we could own such a property in the future (dream big, its free). We pretended that we own the whole house, we jump in the jacuzzi, my son had a blast in the beach, swimming and diving off the platform.
We ate Chicken Bisaya Tinola and Adobo for dinner and freshly caught danggit and parrot fish (the fisherman got it a few meters from where we were swimming) as lunch.
Daddy had a blast of a day and that's what matters. And my son was asking, when is Son's Day, so that we can comeback here and celebrate his day too.