Eye MD jokester

Ophthalmologist cartoon 1 - “Billy’s cheating, Susan is lying, Dave, no, that’s Gary, no, Bob. Bob’s stealing…”

Ophthalmologist cartoon 2 - “Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong. I’d like you to see another specialist. His office is closer to the eye chart.”

Ophthalmologist cartoon 3 - Concern had been expressed over some practitioners of 'laser eye surgery'.

Ophthalmologist cartoon 4 - Lionel had a lazy eye.

Ophthalmologist cartoon 5 - 'I believe there is something wrong with Tommy: He has perfect eyesight...'

Ophthalmologist cartoon 6 - 'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'

Ophthalmologist cartoon 7 - 'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'

Ophthalmologist cartoon 8 - 'Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...'

Ophthalmologist cartoon 9 - Hypnotist and Optician.

Ophthalmologist cartoon 10 - "My audio is okay, but my video is kind of sore"

To Manny , with love from, Eric

Dearest Manny,

 

From the moment I first stepped in the ring against you, I knew. 

When we first touched gloves during the referee's pre-fight instructions, I knew.

When your left hook first forced me to kiss the canvass, I knew.

 

Manny, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul.  My
one true love, my peerless foe. The crowd screams your name from the
top of steel lungs, but I, your foe in the ring, whisper it from within
my delicate heart. 

 

Destiny has a wry sense of humor and a wicked sense of matchmaking.  For how was I to know, I'd meet my match in you?  In the ring our courtship played out.  Our bodies and opposing wills colliding between ropes.  Trading punches within rounds punctuated by bells whilst the occasional embrace – it was all worth the pain and suffering.  For what is love if not hurting.

 

I can and I have fought you three times in the ring.  You won over me.  But you also won me over.  The whole world witnessed your victory.  But only I witnessed how my heart surrendered. 

 

As you now ponder a future in politics while I, peaceful retirement, I reach out to you, my friend, my foe, please remember me.  Your successes still delight me as much as your failures will hurt me.  Remember, I feel for you.

 

You are and always will be the fighter who conquered my will and my love.  Wala kang katulad, Manny.

 

Forever yours,

 

Eric

Note: this is a writing exercise by my friend Bisoy, check his site 

http://mywritingexercises.blogdrive.com/

Lost in Translation (orig from Ai-ann's)

Usa ka Amerkanong peace corps ang
miadto sa layong
barangay aron makigsulti sa mga
katawhan. Si Juan mao
ra ang makamao og makasabot sa
ininglis, mao nga siya
ang gihimong interpreter.

AMERKANO : "Good morning ladies and
gentlemen"
JUAN : "Maayong buntag sa mga babaye
ug mga lalake"


AMERKANO : " I'm very happy that I'm
here in your
place."
JUAN : "Akong dakong kalipay nga ania
ako sa inyong
lugar"


AMERKANO : "I know..."
JUAN : "Nakahibawo ako...."


AMERKANO: "...that all of you are
THOUGHTFUL.. ."
JUAN : " ...nga kamong tanan DAGKOG
NGIPON.."


AMERKANO : .....that all of you are
FAITHFUL..."
JUAN: ".... nga kamong tanan DAGKOG
TIIL..."


AMERKANO: "... and that, all of you
are PEACEFUL..."

JUAN : "...nga kamong tanan DAGKOG
NAWONG..."


Nabungkag ang meeting....nanglupad ang
mga bato....


ENGLISH / BISAYA


1) ASPECT / Pangbuak sa yelo
2) CITY / Bag-o mag-otso
3) DEDUCT / Ang itik
4) DEFEAT / Ang tiil
5) DEPOSIT / Ang gripo
6) DETAIL / Ang ikog
7) DEVASTATION / Stasyonan ug bus
8) EFFORT / Tugpahanan ug eroplano
9) PERSUADING / Unang kasal
10) DEPRESS / Pari
11) PREDICATE / Buhian ang iring
12) PROTESTANT / Tindahan ug prutas
13) STATUE / Ikaw ba na?

CEBUANO KO BAI!

I am not a Filipino, never considered myself one a long time ago. I am a Cebuano and my late father once said: "There's a whale of a difference between the two". And that distinction between the Cebuano and Filipino is never more pronounced than the result of the 2001 Senatorial Elections. The election results nationwide from Manila to Mindanao showed an even trend, far below the expectations of the anti-Erap advocates. Can you believe that? After we've been screwed in the ass by a pea-brained Tagawg! But the Cebuanos voted differently. We Cebuanos voted with the same clear sightedness and maturity that scared the shit out of Marcos and his KBL lap dogs who despite massive cheating and terrorism in collusion with his Ilocano Generals were defeated by the Pusyon Bisaya during the Parliamentary Elections in the seventies. We Cebuanos have a better sense of truth and justice and we have always been the vanguards against tyranny and oppression since 1521 when Chief Lapu-lapu whacked Magellan.

Cebu City was the first established capital of the islands until the seat of the Spanish colonial government was moved to Manila in the early eighteenth century. Why? Can you imagine if Malacanang Palace were in Cebu City in September 21, 1972? Marcos would have been barbecued in Pasil in less than 24 hours. That's the same reason why Legaspi changed his mind and moved the capital to Manila and not because Cebu was no longer a commercially viable port during the galleon trade with Acapulco. Legaspi was simply traumatized by Magellan's defeat in Mactan and was clearly intimidated by the Cebuanos.

In Col. Manuel Segura's book "Tabunan: The Exploits of Cebu Guerillas", the dauntless yet under armed Cebuanos inflicted the highest number of enemy forces killed per guerilla fighter in the Philippines. The indomitable spirit and determination of the Cebuano fighters to arm themselves against the superior Japanese Forces became the progenitor of the now burgeoning gun (paltik) industry in the province. One of the most famous guerilla fighter that later became a successful arms manufacturer was Simeon Cortes who once fabricated mortars out of sewer pipes.

The imminent invasion of Australia was thwarted when Japanese General Koga who was carrying the classified blueprint of the of the military plan to invade Australia was captured by Cebuano guerillas off the coast of Minglanilla. Yet this brave tales remain a footnote in military history. Why, because history is written by the Tagawgs of the North. We once had a Cebuano President the late Don Sergio Osmena, Sr. who never got re-elected for being too honest to tell the Filipinos that he cannot promise them a better life in a country reeling from the destruction of war. He never licked the butt of the "Liberator kuno", the legendary mama's boy General Douglas MacArthur. He was a great President in the wrong country!

Do you know that the Cebuanos produced more world boxing champions than any other ethnic group in the Philippines? Let me refresh your memories. One of the all time great in the Junior Lightweight division was the legendary Gabriel "Flash" Elorde. The string of World Champions that followed were Bernabe Villacampo, Frank Cedeno, Dodie Boy Penalosa, Jerry Penalosa and Joma Gamboa. The Cebuanos also produced the best singers and musicians in this archipelago. We are all familiar with names like Pilita Corrales, Amapola Cabase, Dulce, Eva Santos, Vernie Varga, Manilyn Reynes, Vina Morales, Chad Borja, Ray-an Fuentes, Stax Hugete, Ingrid Sala Santamaria - the list is almost endless. This is a testament to the artistry and creativity and the passion to excel that is deeply ingrained in the genetic code of every Cebuano.

We are a unique people Blessed by the Sto. Nino. We have lesser typhoons, criminality, traffic jams and virtually no earthquakes. Our artisans are world-class- we have the best furniture makers, the best gun makers, the best guitar makers, and the best delicacies,etc.,etc.

We deserve nothing less than the best in governance and to be able to run the affairs of the state and economy by ourselves without relying or being exploited by the hopelessly corrupt Manila government. Our children don't have to suffer the torturous Tagawg lessons in school because our own language is more eloquent and superior. Is there a Tagawg word for husband? Or who can better pronounce the words Beatles, popsicle, tricycle, uncle? Cebuanos or Tagawgs? Baaah!! Yet they make a mockery out of our accent and they think all Cebuana girls are maids.

Since the choice of our national leaders will always be superseded by the choice of ignorant Filipinos, the time is ripe for the Cebuanos to rise and demand self-determination. Mga Moros ra diay maka-hibaw? No doubt we can do better than what Hong Kong and Singapore have accomplished as an independent State. Let the rest of the country be run like hell by the Ilocanos, the Pampangos, Pangasinense and Tagawgs. Give Mindanao to the Moros, they deserve it! Kamong nang botar ni Loi, Ping, Honasan, Angara inyo na ang Pilipinas. Leave Cebu to the Cebuanos. So, who's with me in this crusade? Sugdan na nato mga igsoon! Voice out your anger! Cebuano Pride is Burning! So please don't call me Filipino in the same manner that the Catalans, the Andalucians, the Malaguenas and the Basques don't want to be called Spaniards!

from: www.vizvoyz.freeservers.com

CEBUANO KO BAI!

I am not a Filipino, never considered myself one a long time ago. I am a Cebuano and my late father once said: "There's a whale of a difference between the two". And that distinction between the Cebuano and Filipino is never more pronounced than the result of the 2001 Senatorial Elections. The election results nationwide from Manila to Mindanao showed an even trend, far below the expectations of the anti-Erap advocates. Can you believe that? After we've been screwed in the ass by a pea-brained Tagawg! But the Cebuanos voted differently. We Cebuanos voted with the same clear sightedness and maturity that scared the shit out of Marcos and his KBL lap dogs who despite massive cheating and terrorism in collusion with his Ilocano Generals were defeated by the Pusyon Bisaya during the Parliamentary Elections in the seventies. We Cebuanos have a better sense of truth and justice and we have always been the vanguards against tyranny and oppression since 1521 when Chief Lapu-lapu whacked Magellan.

Cebu City was the first established capital of the islands until the seat of the Spanish colonial government was moved to Manila in the early eighteenth century. Why? Can you imagine if Malacanang Palace were in Cebu City in September 21, 1972? Marcos would have been barbecued in Pasil in less than 24 hours. That's the same reason why Legaspi changed his mind and moved the capital to Manila and not because Cebu was no longer a commercially viable port during the galleon trade with Acapulco. Legaspi was simply traumatized by Magellan's defeat in Mactan and was clearly intimidated by the Cebuanos.

In Col. Manuel Segura's book "Tabunan: The Exploits of Cebu Guerillas", the dauntless yet under armed Cebuanos inflicted the highest number of enemy forces killed per guerilla fighter in the Philippines. The indomitable spirit and determination of the Cebuano fighters to arm themselves against the superior Japanese Forces became the progenitor of the now burgeoning gun (paltik) industry in the province. One of the most famous guerilla fighter that later became a successful arms manufacturer was Simeon Cortes who once fabricated mortars out of sewer pipes.

The imminent invasion of Australia was thwarted when Japanese General Koga who was carrying the classified blueprint of the of the military plan to invade Australia was captured by Cebuano guerillas off the coast of Minglanilla. Yet this brave tales remain a footnote in military history. Why, because history is written by the Tagawgs of the North. We once had a Cebuano President the late Don Sergio Osmena, Sr. who never got re-elected for being too honest to tell the Filipinos that he cannot promise them a better life in a country reeling from the destruction of war. He never licked the butt of the "Liberator kuno", the legendary mama's boy General Douglas MacArthur. He was a great President in the wrong country!

Do you know that the Cebuanos produced more world boxing champions than any other ethnic group in the Philippines? Let me refresh your memories. One of the all time great in the Junior Lightweight division was the legendary Gabriel "Flash" Elorde. The string of World Champions that followed were Bernabe Villacampo, Frank Cedeno, Dodie Boy Penalosa, Jerry Penalosa and Joma Gamboa. The Cebuanos also produced the best singers and musicians in this archipelago. We are all familiar with names like Pilita Corrales, Amapola Cabase, Dulce, Eva Santos, Vernie Varga, Manilyn Reynes, Vina Morales, Chad Borja, Ray-an Fuentes, Stax Hugete, Ingrid Sala Santamaria - the list is almost endless. This is a testament to the artistry and creativity and the passion to excel that is deeply ingrained in the genetic code of every Cebuano.

We are a unique people Blessed by the Sto. Nino. We have lesser typhoons, criminality, traffic jams and virtually no earthquakes. Our artisans are world-class- we have the best furniture makers, the best gun makers, the best guitar makers, and the best delicacies,etc.,etc.

We deserve nothing less than the best in governance and to be able to run the affairs of the state and economy by ourselves without relying or being exploited by the hopelessly corrupt Manila government. Our children don't have to suffer the torturous Tagawg lessons in school because our own language is more eloquent and superior. Is there a Tagawg word for husband? Or who can better pronounce the words Beatles, popsicle, tricycle, uncle? Cebuanos or Tagawgs? Baaah!! Yet they make a mockery out of our accent and they think all Cebuana girls are maids.

Since the choice of our national leaders will always be superseded by the choice of ignorant Filipinos, the time is ripe for the Cebuanos to rise and demand self-determination. Mga Moros ra diay maka-hibaw? No doubt we can do better than what Hong Kong and Singapore have accomplished as an independent State. Let the rest of the country be run like hell by the Ilocanos, the Pampangos, Pangasinense and Tagawgs. Give Mindanao to the Moros, they deserve it! Kamong nang botar ni Loi, Ping, Honasan, Angara inyo na ang Pilipinas. Leave Cebu to the Cebuanos. So, who's with me in this crusade? Sugdan na nato mga igsoon! Voice out your anger! Cebuano Pride is Burning! So please don't call me Filipino in the same manner that the Catalans, the Andalucians, the Malaguenas and the Basques don't want to be called Spaniards!

from: www.vizvoyz.freeservers.com

Carcar Tragedy: Leon Kilat's Fate in the Hands of Traitors

THE retreat of the katipuneros from San Nicolas and the city paved the way for the widespread arrests and executions of other civilians, whether or not they were involved in katipunan. Among those captured when the Spaniards retook the city were Alejandro Antioquia, Dr. Eduardo Rodriguez, Prudencio Camara, Lucio Herrrera, Placido Datan, Jose Abelgas, Raymundo Jurado, Agapito Nadela, Andres Abellana who was recaptured after his release in Carcar, Januario C. Veloso, Carlos Castañares, Pedro Cui, Pascual Antonio, Epitacio Agustin, Cristino Lopez and Isidro Guibelondo (who was arrested in Talamban).

Church of CarcarAlso taken was Fr. Toribio Padilla, parish priest of the cathedral. He was placed undr house arrest at the Colegio-Seminario de San Carlos.



Later, these were released by the Spaniards. The lesser known civilians were summarily executed. The cousins Olimpio and Emilio Regis tried to use the "amnesty pass" offered by Gen. Montero, convinced that they would be granted clemency because they were not involved. Instead, the two were arrested and executed together with Candido Padilla.

Padilla, an ex-capitan of San Nicolas, could not save himself despite the petition of Fr. Jorge Romanillo, the parish priest of the town at this time. During the last hours of his life, he was however given the privilege of having his confession heard and allowed to visit the Santo Niño at the San Agustin church.



Another pro-Spanish Tagalog who served as a spy, Crispulo Valderrama, was also arrested and shot to death without trial. With him were Raymundo Jurado and Jose Abelgas from Carcar. The two were also executed.

So fierce and swift was the jeuz de cuchillo of Cebu's colonial masters that all adult males met by patrols in the streets were considered enemies who were to be shot if they did not know the password.
Betrayal

But of all the katipuneros who met their end, it was their leader Leon Kilat who died most tragically not only for the manner of his death but for the betrayal by one of his men in Carcar.

Even before the katipuneros' arrival in that southern town, Kabkab (Carcar) residents already learned of their defeat at the hands of the Spaniards, following the arrival of reinforcements from Manila.

They had mixed feelings about accepting Leon Kilat, afraid of retaliation from their Spanish masters.

Kabkab leaders, like kapitan Florencio Noel (Tan Insyong), Timoteo Barcenilla, kapitan Kadyo Jaen, kapitan Jacinto Velez, kapitan Simeon Paras, told Andres Abellana: "Tell Kilat to finish fighting in Naga, not in Kabkab."

To which Abellana retorted: "Sa wa pa mosibog si Don Leon nganhi, ang mga tawo gipahibawo una nga anhi padangpon sa Kabkab kay anhi tapusa ang away. Ug karon nga anhi na ang mga tawo, malisud na ang pagsulti kanila sa tagsa-tagsa nga ang away adto usab tapusa sa laing dapit."

(Before Leon retreated here, people were informed that they should proceed to Carcar because the fight will end here. Now that people are here, it is difficult to tell them that the fight will be somewhere else.)

In the story of Vicente Alcoseba who was with the group of Kilat at that time, the plan to kill the latter was actually hatched at the confessional in the church.

The coadjutor at the time, a Fr. Francisco Blanco who was teaching Latin at the Colegio-Seminario de San Carlos, would not meet kapitan Florencio Noel at the convent because it would be suspicious.

Alcoseba said it was Blanco who suggested to Noel that the only way Kabkab could avoid the retaliation of the Spaniards was to kill Kilat.

Little did Kilat suspect what would befall him that fateful Good Friday in 1898 in Carcar because when he arrived in the evening of Holy Thursday, he was accorded a courtesy due a visiting dignitary.

 First, he went to the house of kapitan Paras, then later transferred to the house of kapitan Tiyoy Barcenilla where he and his men were tendered goat's meat, chicken and pork. After supper, he was offered coffee and ginebra at the sala.

A house in Carcar where Kilat was said to be entertained prior to his deathWhile his men were telling stories of the uprising in Cebu, he asked kapitan Tiyoy if he could call a tailor who could make a "traje de rayadillo" which had become the katipunan's uniform. He wanted to change his clothes the next morning after he took a bath. Minutes later, a tailor named Segundo Alcordo came with his metrosan (a tailor's tape measure) to take his measurements.



Meantime, the plotters appeared ill at ease, said Alcoseba. Tiyoy Barcenilla could not stay put in his seat. Sometimes, he would confer with kapitan Kadyo at the back of the house and talk in whispers. Minutes later, he would shift to Kapitan Gundoy, as if something else was going on.

Then Apolinario Alcuitas, a recruit of the katipunan in Kabkab, shouted for everyone to hear: "Mga kaigsoonan, ipahibalo ko kaninyo nga karong gabhiona, may ihawon akong kabayo."

(Brothers, I would like to announce that tonight I am going to slaughter a horse.) At that time, Alcoseba could not understand the meaning of all these.



Since Leon Kilat was tired, it did not take long before sleep was in order. The room assigned to him was the one near the stairs of the five-bedroom house of Barcenilla. A son of the owner, Vicente, curious about Kilat's exploits, had a brief talk with the latter. He was the last person to talk to him alive.

For a while, Vicente and his uncle Mariano Alfafara talked for some minutes in the corridor outside the room occupied by Kilat. Very soon, they too, went to sleep in another room. Mariano was persuaded by Vicente to stay that night.



Vicente would wake up a few hours later when he heard loud noises coming from Kilat's room. He awakened Mariano and both went outside at once, only to be met by Florencio Noel coming up the stairs, carrying a huge crucifix and asking excitedly: "Naunsa na? Naunsa na?" (Has anything happened yet?)

Then Noel shouted: "Viva Espa¤a! Viva España!" Several others outside the house responded.

Vicente found the maid Kitay and both went inside Kilat's room from where loud noises came. There he saw to his shock the limp body of Kilat being pinned down by eight men, with some of them taking turns at stabbing it.

 The skull had been earlier smashed with with the butt of Kilat's own gun.

"Buhi pa ba?" Vicente heard Vinsyong Cui ask.

"Patay na intawon," answered Kitay. Vicente who was speechless leaned against the wall, in shock.



Then they took his body down the stairs till Cui told the other conspirators: "Ihunong. Ibutang una ninyo. Atong sulayan, ambi tuod dili ba dutlan." (Stop. Put it down. Let's see if he is invulnerable.) Each one took turns at stabbing the dead body and breaking some of his limbs. Then they carried Leon Kilat's body to the center of the town where it was displayed for all residents to see. It was 5:00 early Friday morning.

PIT SENYOR!!!

Pit senyor! mga bisdak sa tibouk Pilipinas!
Viva Senyor! Viva Sto. Nino !

LIFE’S FIVE GREAT UNFORGETTABLE LESSONS

1 - Most Important Lesson

During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop
quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the
questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the
woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman
several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would
I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.

Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would
count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your
careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve
your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'."

"I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was
Dorothy.

2 - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 PM, an older African American woman was standing on
the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm.
Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet,
she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to
help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man
took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxi
cab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and
thanked him.

Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise,
a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was
attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway
the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my
spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to
my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you
for helping me and unselfishly serving others."
Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.


3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy
entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass
of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins
in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By
now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing
impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied."

The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice
cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on
the table and walked away.

The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the
waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.
There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five
pennies
-
You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough
left to leave her a tip.


4 - Fourth Important Lesson - The Obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid
himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some
of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply
walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads
clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the
boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone
to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally
succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he
noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse
contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the
gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The
peasant learned what many of us never understand. Every obstacle
presents an opportunity to improve our condition.


5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to
know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious
disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion
from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same
disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.
The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the
little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I
saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and
saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed,
he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the
color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile
faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice,
"Will I start to die right away?" Being young, the little boy had
misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his
sister all of his blood in order to save her. You see, after all,
understanding and attitude, are everything.

Actual Sentences Found in Patient's Medical Charts writen by MD's

(Yikes!, Maka-uwaw. Got this from my Intern's page.)

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies
on her left side for over a year.

2. On the second day the knee was
better, and on the third day it
disappeared.

3. She has no rigors or shaking chills,
but her husband states she was very hot
in bed last night.

4. The patient is tearful and crying
constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.

5. The patient has been depressed since
she began seeing me in 1993.

6. Discharge Status : Alive but without
permission.

7. The patient refused autopsy.

8. The patient has no previous history
of suicides.

9. She is numb from her toes down.

10. While in ER, she was examined, X-
rated and sent home.

11. The skin was moist and dry.

12. Occasional, constant , infrequent
headaches.

12. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

14. Rectal examination revealed a
normal size thyroid.

15. She stated that she had been
constipated for most of her life, until
she got a divorce.

16. The lab test indicated abnormal
lover function.

17. The patient was to have a bowel
resection. However, he took a job as a
stockbroker instead.

18. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

19. Patient has two teenage children,
but no abnormalities.

Evolution of CT Scan?

1."Dok, saan po ba ang Siete Scan?"

2."Dok saan po ba ang magpapa-CT
Skull?"

3."Dok, saan po ba ang CT Scalp?"

4."Dok, saan po ang CT Scam?"

Why Do Medical Interns Procrastinate?

Here are the most common reasons:

1. Perfectionism.
An interns’s standard of performance may be so high for a task that it does not seem possible to meet that standard.
2. Fear of Failure.
Interns’s may lack confidence and fear that he/she will be unable to accomplish a task successfully.

3. Confusion.
Interns may be unsure about how to start a task or how it should be completed.

4. Task Difficulty.
Interns may lack the skills and abilities needed to accomplish a task.
5. Poor Motivation.
Interns may have little or no interest in completing a task because he/she finds the task boring or lacking in relevance.

6. Difficulty Concentrating.
Interns may have too many things around that distract him/her from doing a task.
7. Task Unpleasantness.
Interns may dislike doing what a task requires.

8. Lack of Priorities.
Interns may have little or no sense about which tasks are most important to do.

Ice Cream amd Buwad Marriage

Exactly 10 years ago, December 24, 1996, 12 midnight, we officially became a couple. Tungod siguro sa nindot kaayo nga fireworks display nga malantawan namo sa bintana niadto nga higayon, ug di pa pud kaha sa katugnaw sa panahon sa Pasko, nga nisaad mi sa isig namung usa nga mag-hinigugmaay.

From then on, we were like two peas in a pod, one could never be without the other. We discovered each other as we go along the way. Then our little bundle of joy came along, it was rocky road at first but just like the ice cream, the chocos, peanuts and the mallows settled to become a yummy concoction. A year later, we walk down the aisle with our little Joe.

Marriage was never made to be perfect, it's like cookies and cream, sometimes you get the hard part but sometimes you can have the soft side. Mura pud ni siya ug buwad, kung dugayon ug pa-init, mag kalami bisag daghang langaw nga mag-sige ug alirong. It will test your patience and measure the intensity of your love and devotion. I guess, we must be doing something right for we're still standing together despite of everything and anything.

P.S. His first gift was a bottle of ginamos, followed by a lechon manok bisaya, followed by lots of ice creams and chorizo. Ikaw bay pakan-on pirmi, di baka manambok. The best way to a woman's heart is indeed, truly through her stomach and that's the truth.

Tararat tararat Boom Boom !!!!!!!!!

This is an actual study published in the British Journal Of Medicine, a widely known and very often quoted authority in Medicine. A funny bone from a serious journal, eh ? Why did i not think of this as my topic for research ? Lisud man pud pangita ug subjects diri amo hospital oi .
Daginuton ang gwapo !!!

Research Phenotypic differences between male physicians, surgeons, and film stars: comparative study Antoni Trilla, director of preventive medicine and epidemiology unit, Marta Aymerich , consultant, haemopathology unit, Antonio M Lacy, consultant, general and digestive tract surgery unit, Maria J Bertran, specialist, preventive medicine and epidemiology unit 1 Hospital Clinic, University of Barcelona, 08036 Barcelona, Spain Abstract Objectives To test the hypothesis that, on average, male surgeons are taller and better looking than male physicians, and to compare both sets of doctors with film stars who play doctors on screen. Design Comparative study. Setting Typical university hospital in Spain, located in Barcelona and not in a sleepy backwater. Participants Random sample of 12 surgeons and 12 physicians plus 4 external controls (film stars who play doctors), matched by age (50s) and sex (all male). Interventions An independent committee (all female) evaluated the "good looking score" (range 1-7). Main outcome measures Height (cm) and points on the good looking score. Results Surgeons were significantly taller than physicians (mean height 179.4 v 172.6 cm; P=0.01). Controls had significantly higher good looking scores than surgeons (mean score 5.96 v 4.39; difference between means 1.57, 95% confidence interval 0.69 to 2.45; P=0.013) and physicians (5.96 v 3.65; 2.31, 1.58 to 3.04; P=0.003). Surgeons had significantly higher good looking scores than physicians (4.39 v 3.65; 0.74; 0.25 to 1.23; P=0.010). Conclusions Male surgeons are taller and better looking than physicians, but film stars who play doctors on screen are better looking than both these groups of doctors. Whether these phenotypic differences are genetic or environmental is unclear. Introduction We finished our medical training at the University of Barcelona more than 25 years ago, and have enjoyed our work ever since. At medical school we noted certain differences between male trainees who selected either surgery or medicine as their specialty. The tallest and most handsome male students were more likely to go for surgery, and the shortest (and perhaps not so good looking) ones were more likely to become physicians (including doctors of internal medicine and its subspecialties) . Now, after all these years we hypothesise that, on average, surgeons are taller and better looking than physicians. We conducted a comparative study to test this hypothesis. Methods We selected a random sample of senior staff surgeons and physicians working at the University of Barcelona Hospital Clinic (a 700 bed public hospital), matched by age (52 ±7 years) and sex (all men), from the staff payroll of the surgical and medical departments. We contacted all eligible participants by email. If they agreed to participate, their height (in cm) was recorded and they were asked to submit a digital picture. Age (in years) was registered and checked against that recorded in the payroll database. The external controls were four well known film stars, mostly in their 50s-Harrison Ford as Dr Richard Kimble (a neurosurgeon in the film The Fugitive ), George Clooney as Dr Doug Ross (a paediatrician in the television series ER), Patrick Dempsey as Dr Derek Shepherd (a surgeon in the television series Grey's Anatomy), and Hugh Laurie as Dr Gregory House (a nephrologist and infectious disease specialist in the television series House). We randomly organised the pictures of all surgeons, physicians, and external controls and showed them to an independent group of eight female observers-three doctors and five nurses from our hospital. All observers were in the same age group as the participants (no further checking of this information was attempted). We decided to avoid (for the time being) male observers, because of potential bias. Observers used the "good looking score" to classify each participant. This score measures the degree of handsomeness on a seven point Likert scale (1, ugly; 7, very good looking). We discarded the highest and lowest score (outliers) for each participant and used the six remaining scores for our study Mean scores, differences in means with 95% confidence intervals, and standard deviations were used to compare the three groups. We used the standard t test to compare age and the non-parametric (Mann-Whitney U) test to compare height and mean good looking scores. Results We contacted 14 surgeons and 16 physicians (24 surgeons and 38 physicians were eligible). Only two surgeons and two physicians did not answer the questionnaire or send a picture (their out of office auto reply was switched on). Two additional physicians were dropped from the final analysis because of the poor quality (technical, of course) of their pictures. The final analysis therefore comprised 12 physicians and 12 surgeons plus four external controls. The mean age of physicians was 50.6 years (SD 4.02) and of surgeons 51.1 years (SD 4.11) (P=0.76). The mean height of physicians was 172.6 cm (95% confidence interval 170.2 to 175.4) and of surgeons 179.4 cm (175.1 to 184.0) (P=0.01). Film stars (external controls) had significantly higher good looking scores than surgeons (5.96 v 4.39; difference between means 1.57, 95% confidence interval 0.69 to 2.45; P=0.013) and physicians (5.96 v 3.65; 2.31, 1.58 to 3.04; P=0.003). Surgeons had statistically significantly higher good looking scores than physicians (4.39 v 3.65; 0.74, 0.25 to 1.23; P=0.010). We found small, non-significant differences between film stars who played either surgeons or physicians. Incidentally, we noted a higher proportion of baldness (surrogate marker) among physicians. The figure shows a control, a surgeon, and a physician from our study (the physician and surgeon are by chance authors of this study) to provide a snap shot summary of the main study findings. We did not make individual results public. However, widespread rumours, discussions, polls, and illegal bets arose throughout the institution as a by-product of our study. If they requested, participants were privately told about their personal score compared with the average score of the relevant group. Discussion Our study shows that, on average, senior male surgeons are significantly taller and better looking than senior male physicians. It also shows that film stars who play doctors are significantly better looking than real surgeons and physicians. Differences between surgeons and physicians Perhaps because of their training, surgeons have a different attitude and approach to the practice of medicine compared with physicians. The surgeon's image is that of competence, trust, expertise, and compassion.1 Surgeons are the only doctors who practise what has been called "confidence based medicine," which is based on boldness. 2 They are often practical and fast acting, and they exert tight control on their natural turf-the operating theatre. Being taller and better looking has several evolutionary advantages for surgeons. Their extra height makes them more likely to be masters and commanders, and gives them a better view of the operating room, including the patient lying on the table. Also, as the senior male surgeon is normally surrounded by junior surgical staff, training fellows, nurses, anaesthetists, and the like, his height and appearance make him easily identifiable as their leader. How do surgeons become taller and better looking than physicians? There are several potential explanations for the phenotypic changes between surgeons and physicians. Firstly, surgeons spend a lot of time in operating rooms, which are cleaner, cooler, and have a higher oxygen content than the average medical ward, where physicians spend most of their time. Furthermore, surgeons protect (but not always properly) their faces with surgical masks, a barrier to facial microtrauma, and perhaps an effective anti-ageing device (which deserves further testing). They often wear clog-type shoes, a confounding factor that adds 2-3 cm to their perceived height. The incidental finding that fewer surgeons are bald might be related to these environmental conditions and to the use of surgical caps. In contrast, senior physicians are surrounded by fewer people in their habitat (the patient's bedside and the office), and they therefore have less need to be easily identified or spotted by families and nurses in the middle of a swarm. Physicians tend to hang heavy stethoscopes around their necks, which bows their heads forward and reduces their perceived height. They also complain of a (clearly abnormal) need to endlessly update their knowledge in accordance with the current evidence based approach to medicine by reading and studying heaps of medical journals; this overload of information further grinds them down. Although a prospective study found that doctor's white coats decrease in weight with increasing seniority, no significant difference was found between the mean weight of physicians' coats and surgeons' coats (1.4 v 1.5 kg). 3 Limitations and future studies Firstly, we did not independently assess the height of the study subjects. However, we trust in their honesty and believe that any potential bias would always point in the same direction, as people tend to overestimate rather than underestimate their height. Secondly, we did not check if the submitted photographs had been improved using the latest technology. The members of the evaluating committee know all the study subjects well, and would easily have spotted any gross attempt at cheating (such as submitting photographs taken when the subject was younger or photographs of another person). Thirdly, the evaluation process of the good looking score is subjective, but we have no reliable alternative The best known alternative published in the literature (asking a mirror, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?") works only for queens, a notable shortcoming of this test. 4 Although it is widely known that the mirror always spoke the truth, at present we do not have access to this device (not currently supplied by the Spanish national health system). Further studies are needed to assess whether our findings also apply to junior male surgeons and physicians, as well as to senior and junior female staff. Currently the number of female surgeons in their 50s at our institution is small, and we cannot enrol enough study subjects, a situation that will change no doubt over the next five to 10 years. We believe also that a non-crossover design deserves further testing (good looking score of men evaluated by men and a similar system for women). Conclusions Male surgeons are taller and better looking than physicians, but whether these differences are genetic or environmental is unclear. However, most surgeons and physicians are pleased with their career choices and even with their looks (personal communications) . Thanks to all participants in our study who provided a breath of fresh air and a touch of humour. Thanks also to the members of the evaluating committee for taking the risk and having some fun together. Finally, thanks to Sarah Lafuente and Beatriz Serrano for help in the statistical analysis. Contributors: All authors designed the study. MA and MJB designed the good looking score. AT and AML are guarantors. Funding: None Competing interests: AT is a physician and AML is a surgeon. AT and MA have been happily married for 25 years. MA's good looking score for AT was not requested to avoid any problems at home for Christmas. Ethical approval: Submitted to the institutional review board (IRB) but transferred for approval by the institutional beauty review (IBR), an ad hoc subcommittee of our institution.

Season's Greetings to all my friends

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
to everyone
who passes by my humble home.

Let's celebrate the season with hope and love.
Dont forget to Count your blessings
as you go your way to other pages !

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
to everyone
who passes by my humble home.

Let's celebrate the season with hope and love.
Dont forget to Count your blessings
as you go your way to other pages !

My Life As Pseudo-Marine Biologist

Last Saturday, I met with my old buddies from my Marine Bio days. Although, were a rare breed (we were only 5 + - 2) in our batch, we manage to keep in touch. It was the first ever formal reunion of the USC-Marine Biology graduates after 30 years ! Yes, 30 years ! karon pa sila naka-hunahuna sa kadugay sa panahon. Most those who attended were from the latest batches of graduates, katong mga init pa ug dugo !.
The new USC Marine Station was quite impressive, gone was the old rickety hut on which we spent sleepless nights and drinking binges galore. There's now a laboratory, classroom and guess what? they now have scuba tanks, wet suits and BCJ's. And all of this are in a new concrete building beside the Maribago Bluewaters in MActan Island, CEBu. And wait, the roads leading to the station are now paved and cemented! before it was full of protruding sharp rocks and thick bushes. Most of the students now are PADI certified divers, whew, very sosyal. Kami intawn sa una nakat-on ug dive tungod sa mga sponsorhip sa Special Forces' Riverine Batallion of the Philippine Army, mas heavy ! mas lisud ! mas primitive !

Added to this, the new graduates are employed as marine biologists in some NGO's and in the academe. Some of them are now in the forefront of marine conservation in Cebu. Compared to us when we graduated, we have to look for jobs other than being marine biologists, there were no jobs available for us. Dungog ray nindot adtong mga panahuna, ti-aw mu ba, MARINE BIOLOGIST imong profession pero walay kay trabaho. Faet jud kaayo. Some work as med reps, and in offices but most become PNB (palaging nasa bahay) employees.

I have to work as pseudo-marine biologist in a big hotel in Mactan. This was the only available marine bio job in Cebu and the other was a pearl farm in a tiny island far from mainland Palawan (it is that hard). All we did in this hotel chain, was clean their false beach with seagrasses and poisonous starfishes. We also built their big sewage pipe underwater, it's like swimming in their own shit and urine, everyday. Imagine, kada adlaw mi mu dive from 9am-4pm. Mura mi ug mga sirena, plus our boss was a pseudo-american oceanographer who was a tyrant and a maniac. My skin hairs were brownie-blond and my hairs were corn husk brown. My skin were charcoal brown, an all choco brown orig island girl. It was in this sorry state that I decided that I dont want my life to be like this forever,
I wanted to have smooth and silky hair, I wanted to have soft skin, I wanted to have a better job. I wanted to become a doctor very very badly.



So here I am now, a dormant marine biologist and a practicing eye doctor but it still the same old hard work but less the salty water and the muddy grimes. Pana-panahon lang siguro ang tanan. Sometimes you hit, sometimes you miss the target! Or I was just not cut out to be a marine biologist. But one thing for sure, I never regretted being one.

To all the Marine Biologist out there, thank you for keeping our seas clean and
making our ocean healthy.

Long Live Leon Kilat!

Pantaleon Villegas of the Negros Islands came to Cebu to help the local insurgents against the Spanish Rule. He was in Carcar when he was poisoned by Carcar's local Spanish elite to quell the local uprising but instead this added fuel to the fire. His statue now guards the entrance of Carcar's Plaza.

The Vigan of South Cebu : Carcar's Old Spanish Houses

The very famous Balay na Tisa of the Valencia Family.

They say that almost all of the antiques and valuables were sold by the previous owner and heir but a rich relative recovered it and brought the house to its original setting.
The house is open to the public, a must for every local tourist who wants to experience something Spanish.
Carcar's Caro of the Cruxifixion is placed in the house.

This old house is the lone witness of the ownership feud of the various family who at one time or another resides in this house. Presently, the Marcial Family is living here.

Regis Surgical Clinic now occupies the ground floor.

This is the Old Sato Residence converted into a commercial building, it used to housed the local LTO office and a coffee shop. The coffee shop is now a memory, the LTO transferred far from the center of the town.
Now, this remnant of what used to be a beautiful house is home to two appliance stores and a veterinary clinic.

An abandon old Tisa house owned by a branch of the Valencia Family. It's old wooden planks and posts were ransacked by thieves and everything was stolen .

It now stands as ghost of the past, only the vines are keeping it company.

The Lucero family's old relatives still lives in this house but as Carcar progresses, the first floor is now an office arcade from a pharmacy, photoshop and to some boutiques.
The architectural detail is still evident in the windows and balusters.

The home of Carcar's old banking family, the Cui-Marfori. They managed and owned the oldest rural bank in Carcar. The lady of the house, Tita Pilar bakes the meanest cakes and pastries this side of town.











This is the home of the once powerful Noel Clan, in which a member was accused of killing Leon Kilat to pacify the Spaniards in that time.
Apparent neglect of the fragile coral stone walls and the delicate capiz shells of the windows are like screams of the old house to please FIX ME UP!

But if the stomach is also crying for help, ears are deaf to anything else.

Whenever I passby this house, I can hear the laughter of Kapitan Tiago's party in Rizal's Noli Me Tangere, imagining that Padre Damaso, Maria Clara and Crisostomo Ibarra would come out any time.

This old home is owned by Senyorita Anon Noel, a known frugal spinster. Her descendants are trying to restore the house but the blue screen to protect their orchids are way off.