Eye MD jokester


Ophthalmologist cartoon 1 -

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“Billy’s cheating, Susan is lying, Dave, no, that’s Gary, no, Bob. Bob’s stealing…”




Ophthalmologist cartoon 2 -

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“Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong. I’d like you to see another specialist. His office is closer to the eye chart.”





Ophthalmologist cartoon 3 -

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Concern had been expressed over some practitioners of 'laser eye surgery'.





Ophthalmologist cartoon 4 -

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Lionel had a lazy eye.





Ophthalmologist cartoon 5 -

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'I believe there is something wrong with Tommy: He has perfect eyesight...'





Ophthalmologist cartoon 6 -

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'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'






Ophthalmologist cartoon 7 -

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'But Doc, I am an eagle: I can't be seen wearing glasses... Can't you prescribe contact lenses?'





Ophthalmologist cartoon 8 -

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'Don't worry Sir, being colour-blind is not much of a problem around here...'





Ophthalmologist cartoon 9 -

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Hypnotist and Optician.






Ophthalmologist cartoon 10 -

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"My audio is okay, but my video is kind of sore"











To Manny , with love from, Eric

Dearest Manny,


 


From the moment I first stepped in the ring against you, I knew. 


When we first touched gloves during the referee's pre-fight instructions, I knew.


When your left hook first forced me to kiss the canvass, I knew.


 


Manny, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul.  My
one true love, my peerless foe. The crowd screams your name from the
top of steel lungs, but I, your foe in the ring, whisper it from within
my delicate heart. 


 


Destiny has a wry sense of humor and a wicked sense of matchmaking.  For how was I to know, I'd meet my match in you?  In the ring our courtship played out.  Our bodies and opposing wills colliding between ropes.  Trading punches within rounds punctuated by bells whilst the occasional embrace – it was all worth the pain and suffering.  For what is love if not hurting.


 


I can and I have fought you three times in the ring.  You won over me.  But you also won me over.  The whole world witnessed your victory.  But only I witnessed how my heart surrendered. 


 


As you now ponder a future in politics while I, peaceful retirement, I reach out to you, my friend, my foe, please remember me.  Your successes still delight me as much as your failures will hurt me.  Remember, I feel for you.


 


You are and always will be the fighter who conquered my will and my love.  Wala kang katulad, Manny.


 


Forever yours,


 


Eric




Note: this is a writing exercise by my friend Bisoy, check his site 


http://mywritingexercises.blogdrive.com/



Lost in Translation (orig from Ai-ann's)

Usa ka Amerkanong peace corps ang
miadto sa layong
barangay aron makigsulti sa mga
katawhan. Si Juan mao
ra ang makamao og makasabot sa
ininglis, mao nga siya
ang gihimong interpreter.

AMERKANO : "Good morning ladies and
gentlemen"
JUAN : "Maayong buntag sa mga babaye
ug mga lalake"


AMERKANO : " I'm very happy that I'm
here in your
place."
JUAN : "Akong dakong kalipay nga ania
ako sa inyong
lugar"


AMERKANO : "I know..."
JUAN : "Nakahibawo ako...."


AMERKANO: "...that all of you are
THOUGHTFUL.. ."
JUAN : " ...nga kamong tanan DAGKOG
NGIPON.."


AMERKANO : .....that all of you are
FAITHFUL..."
JUAN: ".... nga kamong tanan DAGKOG
TIIL..."


AMERKANO: "... and that, all of you
are PEACEFUL..."

JUAN : "...nga kamong tanan DAGKOG
NAWONG..."


Nabungkag ang meeting....nanglupad ang
mga bato....


ENGLISH / BISAYA


1) ASPECT / Pangbuak sa yelo
2) CITY / Bag-o mag-otso
3) DEDUCT / Ang itik
4) DEFEAT / Ang tiil
5) DEPOSIT / Ang gripo
6) DETAIL / Ang ikog
7) DEVASTATION / Stasyonan ug bus
8) EFFORT / Tugpahanan ug eroplano
9) PERSUADING / Unang kasal
10) DEPRESS / Pari
11) PREDICATE / Buhian ang iring
12) PROTESTANT / Tindahan ug prutas
13) STATUE / Ikaw ba na?

CEBUANO KO BAI!

I am not a Filipino, never considered myself one a long time ago. I am a Cebuano and my late father once said: "There's a whale of a difference between the two". And that distinction between the Cebuano and Filipino is never more pronounced than the result of the 2001 Senatorial Elections. The election results nationwide from Manila to Mindanao showed an even trend, far below the expectations of the anti-Erap advocates. Can you believe that? After we've been screwed in the ass by a pea-brained Tagawg! But the Cebuanos voted differently. We Cebuanos voted with the same clear sightedness and maturity that scared the shit out of Marcos and his KBL lap dogs who despite massive cheating and terrorism in collusion with his Ilocano Generals were defeated by the Pusyon Bisaya during the Parliamentary Elections in the seventies. We Cebuanos have a better sense of truth and justice and we have always been the vanguards against tyranny and oppression since 1521 when Chief Lapu-lapu whacked Magellan.

Cebu City was the first established capital of the islands until the seat of the Spanish colonial government was moved to Manila in the early eighteenth century. Why? Can you imagine if Malacanang Palace were in Cebu City in September 21, 1972? Marcos would have been barbecued in Pasil in less than 24 hours. That's the same reason why Legaspi changed his mind and moved the capital to Manila and not because Cebu was no longer a commercially viable port during the galleon trade with Acapulco. Legaspi was simply traumatized by Magellan's defeat in Mactan and was clearly intimidated by the Cebuanos.

In Col. Manuel Segura's book "Tabunan: The Exploits of Cebu Guerillas", the dauntless yet under armed Cebuanos inflicted the highest number of enemy forces killed per guerilla fighter in the Philippines. The indomitable spirit and determination of the Cebuano fighters to arm themselves against the superior Japanese Forces became the progenitor of the now burgeoning gun (paltik) industry in the province. One of the most famous guerilla fighter that later became a successful arms manufacturer was Simeon Cortes who once fabricated mortars out of sewer pipes.

The imminent invasion of Australia was thwarted when Japanese General Koga who was carrying the classified blueprint of the of the military plan to invade Australia was captured by Cebuano guerillas off the coast of Minglanilla. Yet this brave tales remain a footnote in military history. Why, because history is written by the Tagawgs of the North. We once had a Cebuano President the late Don Sergio Osmena, Sr. who never got re-elected for being too honest to tell the Filipinos that he cannot promise them a better life in a country reeling from the destruction of war. He never licked the butt of the "Liberator kuno", the legendary mama's boy General Douglas MacArthur. He was a great President in the wrong country!

Do you know that the Cebuanos produced more world boxing champions than any other ethnic group in the Philippines? Let me refresh your memories. One of the all time great in the Junior Lightweight division was the legendary Gabriel "Flash" Elorde. The string of World Champions that followed were Bernabe Villacampo, Frank Cedeno, Dodie Boy Penalosa, Jerry Penalosa and Joma Gamboa. The Cebuanos also produced the best singers and musicians in this archipelago. We are all familiar with names like Pilita Corrales, Amapola Cabase, Dulce, Eva Santos, Vernie Varga, Manilyn Reynes, Vina Morales, Chad Borja, Ray-an Fuentes, Stax Hugete, Ingrid Sala Santamaria - the list is almost endless. This is a testament to the artistry and creativity and the passion to excel that is deeply ingrained in the genetic code of every Cebuano.

We are a unique people Blessed by the Sto. Nino. We have lesser typhoons, criminality, traffic jams and virtually no earthquakes. Our artisans are world-class- we have the best furniture makers, the best gun makers, the best guitar makers, and the best delicacies,etc.,etc.

We deserve nothing less than the best in governance and to be able to run the affairs of the state and economy by ourselves without relying or being exploited by the hopelessly corrupt Manila government. Our children don't have to suffer the torturous Tagawg lessons in school because our own language is more eloquent and superior. Is there a Tagawg word for husband? Or who can better pronounce the words Beatles, popsicle, tricycle, uncle? Cebuanos or Tagawgs? Baaah!! Yet they make a mockery out of our accent and they think all Cebuana girls are maids.

Since the choice of our national leaders will always be superseded by the choice of ignorant Filipinos, the time is ripe for the Cebuanos to rise and demand self-determination. Mga Moros ra diay maka-hibaw? No doubt we can do better than what Hong Kong and Singapore have accomplished as an independent State. Let the rest of the country be run like hell by the Ilocanos, the Pampangos, Pangasinense and Tagawgs. Give Mindanao to the Moros, they deserve it! Kamong nang botar ni Loi, Ping, Honasan, Angara inyo na ang Pilipinas. Leave Cebu to the Cebuanos. So, who's with me in this crusade? Sugdan na nato mga igsoon! Voice out your anger! Cebuano Pride is Burning! So please don't call me Filipino in the same manner that the Catalans, the Andalucians, the Malaguenas and the Basques don't want to be called Spaniards!

from: www.vizvoyz.freeservers.com

CEBUANO KO BAI!

I am not a Filipino, never considered myself one a long time ago. I am a Cebuano and my late father once said: "There's a whale of a difference between the two". And that distinction between the Cebuano and Filipino is never more pronounced than the result of the 2001 Senatorial Elections. The election results nationwide from Manila to Mindanao showed an even trend, far below the expectations of the anti-Erap advocates. Can you believe that? After we've been screwed in the ass by a pea-brained Tagawg! But the Cebuanos voted differently. We Cebuanos voted with the same clear sightedness and maturity that scared the shit out of Marcos and his KBL lap dogs who despite massive cheating and terrorism in collusion with his Ilocano Generals were defeated by the Pusyon Bisaya during the Parliamentary Elections in the seventies. We Cebuanos have a better sense of truth and justice and we have always been the vanguards against tyranny and oppression since 1521 when Chief Lapu-lapu whacked Magellan.

Cebu City was the first established capital of the islands until the seat of the Spanish colonial government was moved to Manila in the early eighteenth century. Why? Can you imagine if Malacanang Palace were in Cebu City in September 21, 1972? Marcos would have been barbecued in Pasil in less than 24 hours. That's the same reason why Legaspi changed his mind and moved the capital to Manila and not because Cebu was no longer a commercially viable port during the galleon trade with Acapulco. Legaspi was simply traumatized by Magellan's defeat in Mactan and was clearly intimidated by the Cebuanos.

In Col. Manuel Segura's book "Tabunan: The Exploits of Cebu Guerillas", the dauntless yet under armed Cebuanos inflicted the highest number of enemy forces killed per guerilla fighter in the Philippines. The indomitable spirit and determination of the Cebuano fighters to arm themselves against the superior Japanese Forces became the progenitor of the now burgeoning gun (paltik) industry in the province. One of the most famous guerilla fighter that later became a successful arms manufacturer was Simeon Cortes who once fabricated mortars out of sewer pipes.

The imminent invasion of Australia was thwarted when Japanese General Koga who was carrying the classified blueprint of the of the military plan to invade Australia was captured by Cebuano guerillas off the coast of Minglanilla. Yet this brave tales remain a footnote in military history. Why, because history is written by the Tagawgs of the North. We once had a Cebuano President the late Don Sergio Osmena, Sr. who never got re-elected for being too honest to tell the Filipinos that he cannot promise them a better life in a country reeling from the destruction of war. He never licked the butt of the "Liberator kuno", the legendary mama's boy General Douglas MacArthur. He was a great President in the wrong country!

Do you know that the Cebuanos produced more world boxing champions than any other ethnic group in the Philippines? Let me refresh your memories. One of the all time great in the Junior Lightweight division was the legendary Gabriel "Flash" Elorde. The string of World Champions that followed were Bernabe Villacampo, Frank Cedeno, Dodie Boy Penalosa, Jerry Penalosa and Joma Gamboa. The Cebuanos also produced the best singers and musicians in this archipelago. We are all familiar with names like Pilita Corrales, Amapola Cabase, Dulce, Eva Santos, Vernie Varga, Manilyn Reynes, Vina Morales, Chad Borja, Ray-an Fuentes, Stax Hugete, Ingrid Sala Santamaria - the list is almost endless. This is a testament to the artistry and creativity and the passion to excel that is deeply ingrained in the genetic code of every Cebuano.

We are a unique people Blessed by the Sto. Nino. We have lesser typhoons, criminality, traffic jams and virtually no earthquakes. Our artisans are world-class- we have the best furniture makers, the best gun makers, the best guitar makers, and the best delicacies,etc.,etc.

We deserve nothing less than the best in governance and to be able to run the affairs of the state and economy by ourselves without relying or being exploited by the hopelessly corrupt Manila government. Our children don't have to suffer the torturous Tagawg lessons in school because our own language is more eloquent and superior. Is there a Tagawg word for husband? Or who can better pronounce the words Beatles, popsicle, tricycle, uncle? Cebuanos or Tagawgs? Baaah!! Yet they make a mockery out of our accent and they think all Cebuana girls are maids.

Since the choice of our national leaders will always be superseded by the choice of ignorant Filipinos, the time is ripe for the Cebuanos to rise and demand self-determination. Mga Moros ra diay maka-hibaw? No doubt we can do better than what Hong Kong and Singapore have accomplished as an independent State. Let the rest of the country be run like hell by the Ilocanos, the Pampangos, Pangasinense and Tagawgs. Give Mindanao to the Moros, they deserve it! Kamong nang botar ni Loi, Ping, Honasan, Angara inyo na ang Pilipinas. Leave Cebu to the Cebuanos. So, who's with me in this crusade? Sugdan na nato mga igsoon! Voice out your anger! Cebuano Pride is Burning! So please don't call me Filipino in the same manner that the Catalans, the Andalucians, the Malaguenas and the Basques don't want to be called Spaniards!

from: www.vizvoyz.freeservers.com