JOKE TIME NA!

Usa ka bisaya miadto sa Manila
BISAYA: Pabili nga ng lemoncito.
TINDERA: Anong lemoncito?
BISAYA: Lemoncito gud.. kanang maliit na buongon!

TEACHER: give me a tag question class.
PUPIL: My teacher is very nice and caring, isn't she?
TEACHER: Very good! binisay-a kuno dong.
PUPIL: Ang akong maestra buutan ug mapinanggaon, wa sya mabuang?

BANA: Day, kung unsa gani mahitabo human sa operasyon ayaw pasagdi atong mga anak ha? i love you day....
ASAWA: hilom dinha! ka OA nimo walay namatay sa TULI oy!......PISOTA KA!......... ....

APO : bilib jud ko sa imo lo. hantud karon sweetheart ug honey ang tawag nimo kang lola!
LOLO: ayaw pag saba dinha. teknik na! nakalimot ko sa ngalan sa imong lola.......

JUAN: birthday sa akong asawa gahapon pre.
PEDRO: unsa imong gift?
JUAN: ask ko unsa iyang gusto.
PEDRO: unsa man giingon?
JUAN: bisan unsa daw basta naa DIAMOND.
PEDRO: unsa imong gihatag?
JUAN: BARAHA!!!!!


HOLDUPPER: tulis ni! tanang babae rape-pon
GIRL: maluoy mo ayaw lang intawon i-apil ang akong lola kay tiguwang na!
LOLA: HOY! HILOM APO ! tanan gani tanan jud na....

AMO: day murag nidako lagi nang tiyan nimo?
MAID: kanser bya ni maam.
AMO: ha?! unsa naa kay cancer?
MAID: wa oi,! kang sir ni bah.....!

CLIENT: sir, mag ilis ta kog apelyedo.
JUDGE: mahal raba na, gawas lang kung balihon.
CLIENT: di ko sir, samot kamaot!
JUDGE: unsa diay imong apilyedo?
CLIENT: LOBOT!

On the way to paradise ....... one could not escape the signs of the times.

the best election slogan so far.
SUN (for mayor) is INDAY MALOU's
(for vice mayor & incumbent mayor) Japanese son.
The last line refers to the first letter of the
names of councilors in their ticket.
bright di ba?

for the glory of money!

we're not only tourists,
were shoppers too!

alipins and timawas are not allowed to buy here,
for donya's only!

i would'nt vote for a worm nor a farm pest....
sorry joke lang! basig kaila mo ani niya.

an election slogan in paradise.
you cannot escape politicians,
they're everywhere!

they practise segregation in paradise,
i dont know in hell.

showing to the world our oceans diversity.

what has she done?
did she break your heart or your bone?

smokers are not welcome in paradise
but nudies are.

even to the highest bidder????

Island in Paradise

We spent the Holy Week in this paradise.
The whitest sand and the coolest water
recharged our weary brain and weakened muscles.
Wishing everyday would be like this.
Ahhh, life is not what we choose.
And yes, there are nudies in the island.