You Might Be an E.R. Volunteer if...

your immune system attacks a dog crossing your front garden.

you have delusions of being an emergency doctor.

the EMS guys think your name is the Coffee Mate.

you tell the doctors and nurses that you don't get paid anything to do this and they look at you like you'r some kind of a freak.

your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.

the EMS guys refer to you as "the pain in the ass that got in my way when I was bringing in a code!"

your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.

your favorite colors are green, white and red, even though you are not Italian.

your favorite thing is to take orders from medical students.

you have recurring nightmares about being knocked to the floor and run over by a portable X-ray machine.