The Filipino Md Blog Rounds: The Doctor as a Patient

(I decided to post this early so that other participants of the Blog Rounds would have ample time to compose their entry. Since, I know that these are busy people doing great service to humanity and beyond. And, I will be going on a week long trip and I might not be able to get an internet connection. Please email your entry at dokhey@yahoo.com.ph Deadline for the 4th round of the TBR will be on April 8, 2008. I will be waiting. For further info, you may visit doc remo's site here. )

I was having panic attacks on what my topic would be for the TBR, then I remember the CBC I had last week, and boy, was I afraid of the needle!

As tears were running down my face, my son was laughing that mommy was crying while having CBC, when he doesn't even flinched when he had one last month. And my husband's hand had nail marks on it, it would have been teethmarks ! It was that painful. And the waiting for the result was most agonizing, Im afraid to see the platelet count. Dengue Fever is having a party here in our island. Walang sina-santo, bata ug tiguwang!

Yes! I will admit it now, I'm afraid of needles..... medical needles in particular. There's something on the IV needle that makes may stomach curl and the syringe needle, ugh! i hate the pointed menacing look.

I've had my share of sticking needles to other patients, and it doesn't bother me. I even stick it in the eye and Im steady as a stick. But how come when it's your turn to be prick, hell just breaks loose.

Doctors, are you afraid of the needles?

Doctors can get sick too. We are not exempted from aches, fevers,cold, you can include cancer, tumors, and TB too.

And I thought, this could be a nice topic for the TBR.

Are we afraid to be sick? Are we afraid to treat our family?
Are we afraid to treat our fellow MD's?

Why do we always advice other MD's not treat friends and relatives, it's better if we refer it to somebody? Are we afraid to treat them?

Ok, angkunon na lang nako. I'm afraid to treat them. I'm afraid to make mistakes, you see for every treatment choice for them, you have to think a million times of the various side effects and complications before you actually order it. You have to be cerebral about it. But we're sometimes ruled by our emotions. On the other hand, if the modalities you ordered came out undesirable, you will be blamed to death by those you loved. You will lose friends and referrals. They will not listen to your argument of the difference between complications and side-effects. To them, you simply failed. Ugghh!

On the other hand, whenever my son (katong baby pa siya) had fever, i always panic and over-react. I most often grab the highest generation of antibiotics. Then, after a day, fever subsided and his pedia would often tell me, simple hydration would have done the job. Looking back on this, again, I'm afraid that I would be blamed that I haven't done my best as a doctor-mother.

Or I am the only one feeling this way?

Hosting

Guys, i'll be hosting the The Filipino Md Blog Rounds 2 weeks from now, and i'm panicking.
I don't have a topic yet! and the pressure is building up, knowing that there are more than 30 MD bloggers roaming ,lurking and sniffing.
Pressure! Pressure!
Nganong ni-enter!??

SERVING HUMANITY

(my entry to the 3rd Filipino MD Blogrounds

hosted by dr clairebear)

I WAS NAUGHTILY ASKING MY INTERN DURING SURGERY THIS MORNING, WHY HE WANTED TO BECOME A DOCTOR. SA WAY DUHA DUHA, NITUBAG ANG HINAMPAK UG " TO SERVE HUMANITY DOC" NI BAHAKHAK KO UG KATAWA KAY MAO MAN JUD NI PIRMING I RASON SA MGA ESTUDYANTE NGA GUSTO MU SULOD SA COLLEGE OF MEDICINE. EITHER TINUNTO TO IYAHA O TINARUNG (TINARUNG BUWAD, NOY?) NAKALITAN KO SA AKO NG BAHAKHAK, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIS ANSWER? PROBABLY , I WAS THE ONE HAVING THE WRONG REACTION. KAUWAW!

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF OUR LIFE IF WE CANNOT SHARE IT WITH SOMEONE? IN AN M.D.'S MIND SET, WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF BEING A DOCTOR IF YOU CANNOT TREAT ANYONE IN NEED ? YOU SPEND ALMOST A DECADE BEING ONE AND IT WILL GO TO WASTE IF YOU WILL NOT USE IT TO PROMOTE AND IMPROVE HUMANITY (INCLUDING YOURSELF).

YOU MAY CALL IT ALTRUISM OR PLAIN HIPPOCRISY BUT REALLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH SERVING HUMANITY?

NA A PA PUD BIYAY DOCTOR NGA NAGPAKATINUUD SA ILANG PROFESYON. DILI BYA TANAN NAKALIMUT ANING BULAWANONG MITHI. ANG UBAN PUD BIYA NATONG MGA GINOO/AMO/SIR, MOHATAG BIYA SA ILANG PANAHON UG NAKAMAUHAN SA MGA TAW NGA TINUURAY NGA NAGKINAHANGLAN.

PERO NAA PUY UBAN NGA NAKALIMUT. HINAUT UNTA NGA MALAMDAGAN ANG ILANG HUNA HUNA. PARA SA ILANG KALUWASAN.

BUSA KUNG KINSA MAN GANING DOCTOR, DOCTORON UG MURAG DOCTOR NGA MUBASA ANI. WALAY SAYOP SA PAG SERBISYO SA KATILINGBAN, HINGLABAW NA NGA DI SAYOP ANG PAGPAKABUHI SA HARUHAY!

DIRI NA LANG....

WHAT IS THERE TO LOOK FORWARD THAN BEYOND THE CREEPING CLOUDS? THEY SAY ITS DIFFICULT, STEREOTYPICAL.
GONNA BE CONVENTIONAL.
SO I SING THIS SONG TO ALL OF MY AGE.
THIS ARE THE QUESTIONS WE HAVE TO FACE.
FOR IN THIS CYCLE THAT WE CALLED LIFE
WE ARE THE ONE WHO ARE NEXT IN LINE.

(fAMILIAR? KANTA NI SA Afterimage , MAO MAOY LYRICS SA AKONG NAHINUMDUMAN )

reflections sa banggera

it's a long time nga naka hugas ko ug plato sa among balay ( kani laging mag salig ta sa katabang). while i was putting sabon, i was thinking nga murag man sad di i ni ug orchestra concert ang pang hugas. tapok tapok ang mga baso (drum section), plato ug kutsilyo (wind instruments section), kutsara, tinidor (string section). human butang ug sabon, banlawan sa tubig, butang sa drainer. lain napong tapok, butang sabon, banlaw, drainer, lain na pud. refrain kay wa na mubuwa, tuslod sa joy. lain na pud nga tapok. Oi, na stock up ang lababo, punitpunit sa bukog ug momho. sa akong pag hugas mura ko ug conductor nga nag duma sa lain laing section sa instrumento nga ending usa ka limpyo ug nindot nga kanta, usa ka limpyo nga banggera.

Viki's Gift

....... and I will not tell u what's inside.....but i surely i loved it!
this is my first gift from an online best friend.
Thank you, Viki!

Lenten Changes

Looking back through all the past Lenten seasons, this '08 was the most unforgettable one. Lenten season is always associated with life change as we experienced the passion of Christ.

Although, we haven't been doing the usual religious practice of going Visita Iglesias, processions and confessions last week, it has changed a lot of my biases and perceptions of people. I spend 4 days with these (see pictures above) real and interesting people in a northern town. I was able to shed some of my biases, and confirmed some nagging feelings. It's always better to read the book than watch it on the big screen. Not all things can be perceived by just watching the actors but you have to see through them and feel their words, spoken and the unspoken ones, most especially. For us (well, for me) to be able to understand their stories. And to somehow share the pains and joys of our lives. I learned a lot from them. My gratitude to this fellow adventurers.

River Trekking on Black Saturday

My muscles are still angry with me. It still aches all over. Now, who would have thought, that me, a sedentary being would end crawling over the boulders and swimming along the current in a river in Catmon ?

Along with some 7 kids (11 yo and below), my hubby's bro (in some Greek alphabet frat) invited us, with another bro's family to spend the Holy Week with them in Catmon. He brought us to this native secret of a place, where only few outsiders have seen. The majestic falls that met us after an hour of grunting and cussing (hehehe!) was superbly spell binding.

Yes, siree! we brought our children with us on this adventure. And they outdid themselves, no grumblings were heard about the long trek. No whining about the cold river water.
Pretty surprising! They love the adventure! I love the adventure more!

Thank you for the superb vacation, Manok !

The eyedoc and the internet

(my 2nd entry to the Filipino Md blogrounds hosted by dr prudence)

I was a little late in discovering the joys of being online, i thought then that the internet would be for researches and for geeky people only. My only purpose to surf then was to look for Ophthalmology journals to be presented during the weekly M&M's. Then, I stumbled upon Bisayabloggers, and i saw that hey, there are a lot of interesting and normal individuals on the net. I browse on their blogs, and i was hooked ever since. It was just like an extension of the CB radios and the ICOM craze (break!break!) during the 90's. And I was very into it during those times, sleeping late just to make "kit-kit" (eat the speaker phone, slang) with all those people you only heard and never seen. But you do make eyeballs, once in a while and make a lifetime of friends.

I tried my hand at creating my own blog (friendster pa lang). The response was very heartwarming, people left very nice comments, and my interns and PGI's started to tell me that they read the my friendster blog. And, can i make testimonial for them? bwahahahaha!

Then, i stumbled on the real blogmaker (Blogger) and I never regretted it since. It's my husband now who's complaining that my online time is more than I spend for him. Poor hubby baby! It's just like your tennis and your mountain climbing thingy, he just sighs and still continue to pay my subscription. Buotan nga bana, love you dad ! And now he's my constant critique and would complain if i dont have a new posts!

And people started to asks for my "expert opinion" kuno on their eye problems and some of them even send their relatives to the clinic. Hey! i dont advertise ha basig ma censor ta sa ethics committee ani. Im just amazed that people believe in something that I love doing.

Now, im in the great crossover of private practice and blogging helps to pass your time while you for wait for stray patients coming your door.

Knock! knock! yes, marj? naa na patient doc. got to go now!

Blog, blog, blog and away!

To cut for a living

I borrowed the title from Bonedoc from his latest post on the economics of medicine.

For the last six months, I have been on my own private practice, no more LandBank ATMs to check if my hard earned salary has some leftovers from all the loans and deductions. I now have to wait for the clinic door to open and excitedly peek if a patient has lost his way to my eye clinic. Yes, it was a patient and he asks nervously how much is the consultation fee? With a bright smile, Marj, my secretary said "150 ra sir" (this was before i join a group practice, well, we charge a little more now). "Sige lang mam, kay mubalik ra ko." There goes my patient, there goes my consultation fee, there goes my secretary's salary. With that promise, 99.9% of them will not comeback. That's how hard life is for a doctor, no patient, no moolah. (So, warning to all the parents who wants their little boys and girls to become a doctor when they grow up, be prepared to be asked for allowance even if their age is past the calendar month.)

Another dilemna. Now you have a patient. Mamser, this is your problem......, we have to this to heal your piskat, buy this eye drop and come to me for check up after one week. Please give your money to Marj outside. Yes! naka-pasyente na jud! Then, Marj, peeks through your door and asks hushly, Doc, pwede ba daw half lang iyang bayaran kay wa na siya ika-plete para uli. Tiwiwiwing! imo pa hinuong sala nga dili sila kauli! Marj, please tell them nga ako lang silang ihatud sa ila. (joke!joke!)

Kani, pasyente na jud! Mamser, kinahanglang jud nato operahan imong catarata para ka maka-klaro pag-usab sa mga binuhat sa Ginoo. Pag-andam ug $$$$$ para sa operasyon. Doc, pwede lang mi muhuwat ug naay cataract mission? Tiwiwwiwing napud. Vision is my mission, literally.

Lain na pud. Sige doc, ok ra mi mag-paopera. hangyo lang mi doc ha kay wa jud mi kwarta, wa na juy trabaho ako bana. She looks sincere and she looks somewhat not well off. Ok, mamser, hangyoon lang taka ug $$$$$. Then I chanced upon her being fetched by a Nissan Patrol, not surplus ha. Tiwiwiwiwing!

But this is not the be all and end all of my life as a medical practitioner. Lest you misunderstood me. I love my job, i love being an eye doctor in a third world country.

The Blog Rounds

BoneMD just invited me to join the The First Filipino MD Blog Rounds. My excitement for the invitation was paired with apprehensions, what can I contribute to the rounds? Am I qualified to be a part of them? Knowing that they are on the upper tier of the Medical seniority hierarchy (im not refering to their age, ha!)

I'm just a simple eye doctor from the provincial islands. What difference would my presence be?

But my little friends are whispering, Game na!

So Bonedoc, Game na!

Sleep and chocos

(BoneMD, this is my first official entry to the blogrounds. thanks for the invite!)

Waking up early is a struggle for a candle burner. It seems that all the emulsified cholesterols are getting their fair share of respite. But these old bones have to get up and be ready for work and all that comes with it. Such an everyday scenario for me.

We live quite far from the hospital and my son’s school, ngitngit pa gud ig lakaw namo, nindot pa ka-ayong iku-ub sa habol. What we do is sleep through the journey to the city with our pillow on board. Mag-lanug-lanug pa gud kuno among hagok ingon pa sa driver, mamukaw na lang na siya kung naa na nami sa Boy’s High. Pilit-pilit pa among laway ig mata namo. Mukalit dayon ug kaabtik akong anak kung abot nami sa iya school , dayon pangutana ” late nako, mi?”

When its my turn to got off, diha pako magkara-kara ug sudlay, pulbos ug lipstick. Dayon dagan sa taas para mag-rounds, dali dali ug ilis ug scrub suit para sa mga kaso. Usahay muhapit pa ug panga-saba sa ophtha interns nga nag kwinanggol.

After all the procedures, adto dayon ko sa OPD. This has been a routine for quite sometime.

You see, im the only resident physician in my department with no applicants in sight. We serve a lot of patients a day and sometimes mag-GGB (gulo-gulo buhay) ka.

Manawagan unta ko kung naa moy kaila nga gusto mo training pagka-ophthalmologist, palihug kontaka dayon ko. Dawaton siya sa among department nga way lisud-lisud.

Pul-an pud biya ko usahay sa akong kahimtang, pero wa na may jud koy mabuhat kung dili sa pag-dawat sa sitwasyon. As in NO CHOICE. The only redeeming thing amidst the fatigue is the smile of the people you have help.

Like what happen yesterday. There was a patient who sought consult. She was not my ordinary clientile. She was a rich looking old woman with an educated bearing. (no offense to my other patients ha, who belong to CDE crowd) She wanted to have a second opinion on her eye problem. (nakalitan pud ko sa iyang tuyo kay kinsa ra man gud tawn ko nga pangayo-an ug second opinion, ni konsulta na ni siya sa usa sa mga ginoo sa ophtha sa cebu who is by far very much experience than me) She said she just came back from the US, where 3 american doctors saw her, they were not able to satisfy her. After examining her, i told her that indeed she had a serious eye problem (total retinal detachment), if she will undergo surgery, there’s only a slim chance that her eyesight could be restored.( this is what the other specialist also said) I was telling her that you should’nt be sad or felt sorry, God is so good to you, your other eye is still good. God gave you a lot of blessings, He gave you a good life, at least you will not worry where to get your next meal, all your children have studied well and you have never experienced anything to being poor. In fact your blessings are way beyond the usual. But I impressed upon her that with all the information that she’s getting about her condition, she and only she can make the decision for herself. Either she will undergo the surgery and all its risks or accept the situation wholeheartedly. It’s all up to her. The technology to treat her will always be here, and she has no financial hindrance to speak of, but the decision to use it will be her’s alone. And that was it.

Then, this afternoon, two girls were looking for me at the opd. I ask them why, they said that Mrs. XXX sent them to give me a bagful of chocolates, one for my interns and one for me. There was also a letter from her, thanking me for the time i spent with her and that technology cannot be compared to truthful and heartfelt explanation. Of course, i cannot deny that I was touch (tao lang po ako). And definitely, Im not sharing these with you so that I can brag ( im not also sharing my chocos, bleh!). Im sharing these because I wanted you to know that there are still people who have good souls, who appreciates what you’ve done to them. These are the things that makes me believe in the goodness of humanity. And for us overworked, government MD’s, this is what makes us keep going.